Celebrating 10 years of CCKs(Communications Commission of Kenya) non achievement

As I was in a matatu headed to the office today morning, I couldn’t help but overhear King’ang’i and Marcus on Classic 105 reminiscing on the days gone by when one could only rely on letters to keep in touch. Their discussion was in line with their joint promotion with CCK in celebrating 10 years since Communications Commission of Kenya(CCK) was formed.
The same has been in the dailies and it got me thinking of what Chris Rock says in one of his comedies(watched it for the uptenth time over the weekend thanks to a friend who was visiting) I think its in ‘Bring Back the Pain
Niggaz like being complimented about some ish that they are supposed to do like they’ll say  I take care of my kidsdamn thats your role, you fathered them“. or ” I aint never been to no jail” – that is not an accomplishment, you should never go to jail.
Am sure by now you are wondering, what does C.R have to do with CCK

CCK is bragging about its achievements and spending tax payers money on adverts, things that they should have done within 2 years or 5 maximum, yet it has taken them 10 years.

Do you know how long 10 years is in IT?
lets see
–  Microsoft has launched 4 client OSs(Win 98, XP, Vista and now Windows 7)and countless other products.
– Gadgets called flash disks were invented starting with a capacity of 128MB, now they even have those with 32GB capacity
-DVDs and CDs had just replaced tapes in music distribution. Now, we even have blu-ray.
– DVDs replaced those big ugly black cassettes (can’t even remember their correct name) and now, DVD players come with USB ports.
– Google become a company exactly 10 years ago, it is now synonymous with the internet
– In 10 years, Africa Online moved from being the only ISP to being a non entity in the provision of internet in Kenya getting replaced by the likes of Access Kenya

I have several things to be celebrate with CCK for NON-Achievement
– Internet is still damn expensive despite there being like 16 or more ISPs
– There’s still not a single radio station I can listen to throughout(simply because most are full of crap)
– Radio presenters can say anything they want on radio with no consideration to who might be listening
– No matter how many F words or B words or A^^%H$@ a song has, it will be played at any time
– TV is not any better and I have resorted to just watching my own videos.
– Images however lewd will be shown on TV under the guise of Music videos(and you wonder why kids are getting molested and raped )or imorality has become the favourite past time.

-Media houses can be openly biased even become a tool for inciting the masses on a particular agenda(we all know what happened during post election violence)
-Why are all ISPs operating only in the major towns? Why can’t those seeking licences only be given license to operate by province with only two per province.
– Registering a .co.ke domain is still ridiculously expensive(to hell with patriotism) half of the .co.ke sites are not even hosted locally so whats the point.
– What is the toll free CCK tel no. which I can call when Safcom deducts my credit for undelievered or delayed smses(which get to the recepient after I have already called. Shouldn’t telecom providers sign SLAs(Service Level Agreements)
– Which CS (Customeer Service)office/line do I get intouch with when I know the number I have called yet it goes to some guy yet I was calling a lady.(I am not nuts, I know what number I dialed, its in my phonebook on speed dial)
– How come even 6 year olds can surf porn, shouldn’t CCK be regulating what content ISPs relay to their customers?
-Why is reaching CCK like going to see Kibaki, isn’t it there to serve its citizens? Am yet to see their Customer Service centers in the CBD.
– How in heaven’s name did they allow this Ujanja service?  shouldn’t someone have a police abstract to retrieve data from someone else’s phone/pc/notebook?
-Who should be educating Kenyans about Fiber? shouldn’t it be CCK making Kenyans aware of what services they should expect and at what cost?(so that we know when ISPs are reaping us off)

There are many others I can’t think of right now!
Bottom line is, I feel that CCK has taken 10 years to do what they could have done in 5 or even 2 years and thanks to them, we still have unemployed, I.T illiterate Kenyans who have no idea what a blog is or fiber (hiyo fiber ni ire banana fiber?.
Sorry to those who were hoping that this post had some Art angle to it, we will resume normal broadcasting after this message from our sponsors(eheeeeeh)

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Showcasing the best in Kenyan Arts;Music,writing,Poetry,fine art and art reviews as well as info on emerging art trends. “Art is not about thinking something up. It is the opposite…getting something down.”